Welcome to my story! My background is in adult education and I’ve worked in a wide variety of subject areas over the years, from the scientific to the spiritual and everything in between.  My work across these different areas was the same: to make information accessible by presenting it in a way that others could easily understand. This is something I really enjoy—coming up with creative ways to help people learn. 

When my husband passed away several years ago, I observed that people meant well, they genuinely wanted to help (and I’m so grateful for that!). But I naively thought that everyone would just know how to be sensitively supportive. Instead I got a really confusing mashup of reactions—some people were amazing, some tiptoed around me worrying that they’d make me cry, some railroaded me with what they thought I needed, and some literally ran away from me as if I were the Grim Reaper. I had joined a widow’s online support group and heard similar stories from hundreds of other widow/ers.

So of course I immediately went to, “There needs to be a handbook!”  I kept thinking about the movie Beetlejuice where they have the Handbook for the Recently Deceased, and thought that we needed a book like that—the Handbook for [Helping Those Grieving the Loss of] the Recently Deceased. I looked around to see if a book like that already existed, but it seemed like most books on the topic were pretty heavy to read and/or religious. I kept thinking about how the information could be presented in a way that was lighter somehow, and didn’t turn people off.  Was it even possible to make a book about death, loss, and grief that wasn’t terrible to read? 

And then I had a lightbulb moment—CAT CARTOONS!  Ever since I was a kid I’ve doodled little creatures all over notebooks and scraps of paper, so I thought I could pull off some cartoons. And since cats rule the universe I figured they would be the best ones to tell the story. That’s how “Sad Cat” was created. 

In the beginning I was just doodling. Drawing cat cartoons helped me process some of the difficult stuff I was experiencing while profoundly grieving. But then I went to see an intuitive healer, whom I had never met before, and the first words out of his mouth were, “You’re writing a book! Congratulations, that’s so exciting! Looks like it’ll be available in June.”  I was like, “um… actually I’m just kinda doodling…”  And then somehow, with help from a wonderful editor and designers (and what felt like a whole lot of magic), Helping Through Heartache became available June, 2021.  (And my amazing sister translated it into Spanish.)

After I wrote Helping Through Heartache featuring Sad Cat, some friends asked me to write another book on how to help someone with a serious illness or chronic health condition. They resonated with everything in the Heartache book, which is essentially how to sensitively help someone who is going through a hard time. I reflected on my own experiences caregiving for others, interviewed a lot of people, drew a lot of cartoons, and Helping Through Illness featuring “Ailey Cat” was created.

In both books the cat characters and their friends give voice to anyone who is grieving or hurting in a way that is lighthearted but still very real. The cartoons show us how our loved ones feel, what they need, and how we can help. The cartoons lighten heavy topics, but the content is not trivial or superficial; the books are ultimately about empathy, compassion, and kindness.

I’m considering a third book on how to support someone who is dying because that’s another area where we aren’t taught how to help, and end of life stuff can feel scary. There’s a lot of really good information out there, but people don’t tend to look for it until a loved one is at the end of their life. I’ve helped several close friends and family members as they were dying and also trained as an end-of-life doula and I can’t emphasize enough how essential it is to prepare early on for the end of life. 

Which brings me to the (nonreligious) prayers offered on my site. I’ve been engaged in spiritual practice with amazing teachers and guides for over twenty years, which has magnified my belief in the power of prayer, or intention, or blessing, or affirmation—whatever you like to call it. I started writing prayers in a meditation practice with fellow practitioners. When someone was having a hard time, they’d write a prayer and we would all say it. Over time I started writing prayers for friends and family, and have found the act of writing and saying the prayers to be very potent. Feel free to use these prayers and modify them for your own person, situation, or beliefs (use them for yourself, too!).

A bit more about me – I’m originally from Minnesota but am now living in the Pacific Northwest. It still feels a bit surreal to have landed here, but I’ve learned that life can really bring the unexpected. I came here right before the pandemic, not knowing anyone. With everything shut down, spending time in nature and going on excursions with local kayaking groups saved me. I love taking pictures of the places I go—I took all of the prayer banner photos on my adventures. I’m grateful to live in such a beautiful place and for the lovely people I’ve met here.

Attribution for the background images on the cats © 123RF Free Images