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Vigils: Helping People Transition
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I've participated in a number of vigils with the body of a loved one who passed. Some vigils lasted a few hours and some were three full days. I noticed that people who were initially weirded out at the thought of sitting with a body for a longer period of time came to understand how powerful vigils can be for saying goodbye and coming to terms with a loved one's passing.
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So, what does one do, exactly, when sitting with the body of a loved one?
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These instructions were given to me by my late husband who had done a lot of death & dying work. I was helping with a Buddhist vigil and asked him how to orient people who had never attended one before.
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Participating in a Vigil
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A vigil is a ritual of intimacy with the person we care about, in which they are provided an environment of safety, peace, sacred company, and loving, caring support as their spirit moves on.
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Vigils are also a gift to the people attending as they help us to deeply connect with the cycle of life and death, and to support our loved one in this profound transition.
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In a vigil, a peaceful, set apart, sacred space is provided after physical death, the first three hours being the most important. People will sit quietly with the body.
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It is presumed during this time that the person's spirit disentangles from the body and moves on into the light. In this process they are letting go of everything—all problems, concerns, and attachments.
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The vigil is an opportunity to practice letting go ourselves, releasing any sense of problem and affirming love and happiness. This helps the person's spirit to let go, freely.
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Participating in a vigil is essentially a mindfulness meditation of sorts; being silent and fully present with your awareness. If you can, tune into the quality of their spirit. What do you observe about it?
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Reassure your loved one that it's okay to move on, and bless them to do so. Let go of fear and doubt, and hold in your heart:
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- Kindness
- Compassion
- Forgiveness
- Loving care
- Good humor
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As your loved one is gravitating to their spiritual home, just honor that process, be a student of it. Allow yourself to be touched and inspired, as we will all go through this in our time.
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Waawaate, The Northern Lights
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"Certain Ojibwe traditions tell us when we leave this earth, we will dance through the doorway to the next world in spirit form. Our spirit will find those of our ancestors, and we will rejoice and dance in the sky. The people of the world will see the dancing in the sky and call it Waawaate, the Northern Lights."
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Source: Chippewa National Forest, US Forest Service
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Northern Lights: St. Patrick's Aurora
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Photo credit: NASA Images, taken at Donnelly Creek, Alaska on March 17, 2015 by Sebestian Saarloos
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Visit my website for links to my books and other good stuff.
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